.....one on one......

.....today was one of those days that has me inspired and invigorated for warmer spring days......a day that took us south to Battery Park to visit friends and as we strolled back home mid afternoon, I took a turn in the opposite direction of our apartment.....

.....when Elsie piped up wondering why we weren't walking toward our house, she was elated to hear that I had a spontaneous urge to take the girls to the playground.....it was 50 degrees and we had settled for 20 minute naps while I drove through Central Park after noticing my babes had dozed off just as I turned into our parking garage.....why not?....

......and the inspiration and boundless energy I am feeling lately certainly has something to do with sunshine and warmer weather, but I have also been especially loving my time with my girls these days......perhaps part of me knows that with the upcoming arrival of our baby, my time will temporarily diminish with them......but it's been so fun lately and I have felt so incredibly present these last few weeks.....very tuned in, very ignorant to my usual distractions.....

.....Callie's birthday weekend allowed the two of us to have ample time together and I loved sneaking away, just she and I; even if sneaking away meant spending time doing the normalcies of our life.....so while my girlfriend took her daughter and Elsie to ballet on Friday, Callie and I dressed for the weather and headed to the grocery store.....

.....and she was pretty fired up to wear her rain gear and carry her new umbrella.....not to mention, splash in every puddle she could find.....made me wonder when I started to dread rainy days?......experiencing them through the eyes of a child reminds me of how much fun the rain used to be......so I splashed in a few puddles too, just for old times sake.......

.....and when her actual birthday morning arrived, she and I hopped on a bus, a subway and took a walk due west to the theater district to catch the play, Strawberry Freckleface......and one thing is for certain......this NYC girl loves her some subway rides......grandly anticipating our time to board the train.....

.....she shrieks with delight when she hears it approaching......the roar and echos of the heavy train rolling in, vibrating the stroller wheels every so slightly as it approaches......adding to her anticipation......and Callie makes the same face every time she hears her train arrive.....

......she loves the subway.....

......and I love the one on one time with my girls.....there are subtle differences I see in each of them when it's just she and I, regardless of what she I may be spending time with during these sweet occasions......I learn a bit more when I observe and interact with each child individually....each time it's like opening a beautifully wrapped present because I discover something new that endears me to them in more intricate ways......

......and on this special birthday, my girl was soaking in the attention and I was pouring everything I had into her.....because many times, it's my day dates with my girls when I become overwhelmed with the impact that we as mothers have on our children.....it's an awesome responsibility.....and although I will make mistakes and have days where I need to apologize to my children for losing my temper or snapping at them for taking too long to decide which color underwear they want to wear for the day, it's the whole package we offer them that molds them into the people we aspire for them to be......

.......we teach them through our mistakes by the ability to show we can say we are sorry.....we build their confidence and esteem by focusing on the tiny accomplishments they make like being able to put their socks on without help or when they put their dirty clothes in the hamper without being asked......we show them we love them on special days, like birthdays; but it's the routine days that get checked off unnoticed in our calendars that are the most meaningful days to show our love.....because it is those days that are hard and trying as we move through the motions of our lives.....those are the days that add up to what most of their memories will be in which they draw upon in their adult lives.......

......and although most days in my duties of motherhood, I am not thinking about the importance of my role, when it hits me; it hits me hard......

                                                    (I have no idea how to take a picture in front of a mirror, but I love the imperfection of this shot......)

......most days I am asking if the girls have heard me on the fifth request to please turn the TV off for dinner.....I am thinking about how tired I am tucking them in after the upteenth request that lures me back into the bedroom after we have already done story time, songs and prayers before lights out.....tonight, the highlights of beckoning were water spilling all over Elsie's sheets from her leaky sippy cup, Callie needing her blanket she purposefully threw over her crib side and Elsie having a fit about a hang nail on her big toe that had to be removed immediately.........I am tested daily by the tone I choose to use in my moments of frustration, the example I show when I display how I handle my anger in upsetting situations, and the empathy I teach my girls with the way in which I interact with neighbors, friends and strangers......especially rude strangers......

......but when I am reminded about my role and my impact, it does cause a new invigoration within me.....and sometimes I need that invigoration, even though I may not have realized how over due I was for a dose of it......

                                                           ......Elsie making Callie's birthday cake while the birthday girl napped......Callie's request was pink cake, pink frosting......

.....and I don't want to do right by them alone.....I want them to be raised in a home with two parents who show through example that they will drop whatever, whenever for each other......that as much as we love our children, we love our marriage deeply and take time to cherish and nurture it.....we work towards growth, we love our time with our babes; but we carve out time to be alone because we value the benefits those times afford one another and our girls......

......and I don't only desire for my girls to be good people.....I want them to be godly women who love and serve the one who makes all things possible.....

.....and so the one on one time is not only imperative for developing my relationships with each of my girls and instilling in them the love, values, and memories I want them to have......but it's a good reminder to me on how every moment I share with them is molding and shaping them into the women, wives, friends and mothers that they will be at some point in their future; if those are the roles God has intended for them.....and when I really think about that concept and spend time reflecting on the awe of this job; it replaces the ideas that motherhood lacks status, sexiness or prestige that our society seems to portray.....and these ideas lurk in my own mind too; on some of the trying, long days that are part of the whole package of being a Momma.....

.....so I like this reminder of the grand responsibility of motherhood......it is good and necessary......because there has not been any other role in my life that has been more rewarding, fulfilling, prestigious or important.....and I love that this is the place God has placed me.....and His blessings are abundant and very good.....

......and humorous.....

.....because we have never seen anything as funny as a two year old that decides after opening each birthday gift, she wants to try it all on right then and there.....

....so much for tearing open one present after the next.....our time opening presents last for hours......she is savoring and admiring her new treasures in her own time and I love that about her......

.....and so this weekend was a celebration of our sweet Callie.....

.....a celebration of the importance of family.....

......and a celebration of the gift of motherhood.....

.....savoring every important minute in the roles we have been given......