Monday, January 20, 2014

…..silver lining…...

…..Friday night there was electricity in my house…..Stefan lives for skiing in the winter……he absolutely loves it and everything that accompanies the event……he loves the lodge, the sound of fresh powder, the chair lifts, the gear and the first cold beer at the base of a mountain after a day of runs……he doesn't even mind the wet boots and numb fingers on the really cold days…….

…...since our dating days, he has always talked about teaching his children how to ski and how much he looked forward to family trips to the mountain……this Florida girl quickly changed the subject when it would arise every so often; as I did not like to ski, had only tried it a few times and would much rather prefer a hot day at the beach over a cold mountain…..however, I quickly realized early in our relationship that if the two of us were going to go anywhere; I had better learn to at least tolerate the mountain…..

…..so we headed to Colorado with a bunch of friends many years ago and Stefan taught me how to ski……it took my falling from a ski lift 6 feet above ground, several tumbles and rolls and numb limbs to learn how to navigate down a bunny slope, but I gave it my all……and I passed the test as to whether or not I could like it enough to fulfill his dreams of being a ski vacation type family……

…..fast forward 12 years, a move to the northeast (where there is skiing available to us) and 4 kids later……when Stefan declares he wants to do a family ski trip for the weekend, I give it my best effort because it means so much to him…..I don't complain when I pack long johns, snow bibs, hats, gloves, goggles, ski helmets, special socks, water proof liners and changes of dry clothes for four children to wear (and yes, Mae has the same water proof ski suit that Elsie and Callie wore as babies)..…..I don't get frustrated when the kids can't put their boots on by themselves or when they ask to use the bathroom just after we have already geared up and have to take it all off so they can put two drops in the toilet……

…..no, I keep the mood light, even joyful and pretend like this effort isn't a complete hassle…..I resist the urge to think of how flip flops and beach cover ups are so much easier and I do all of this because of the pure passion my husband has to take family ski trips like he has always dreamed of doing…..and because skiing has actually grown on me over the years, I now understand and get it…..it truly is a great way to have a fun activity to do as a family and I am always down with fun….heavy, wet, cold snow boots and all…...

….so Friday night arrived and after a group outing to the ski rental shop to have all of us sized and fitted, we picked up pizza for the kids, opened some vino, cranked the music and began packing…..everyone was ramped up for our Saturday hour and a half road trip…..we hit the sheets early so that we would all be rested for the next morning…..it was only 35 minutes into my slumber when Elsie sprinted into our room to scream that Callie was throw'in up everywhere……

….my heart dropped….

…..we are quickly learning that with 4 children, we have to keep things flexible…..so without much hesitation, Stefan and I decided that he would take Elsie for a day trip and that I would stay back with my sick girl…..


…..the BRAT diet tastes better on a big red tray eaten on the sick bed that used to be our family couch…..

….part of the resolution of being a flexible, make quick decisions on the fly type of family when things don't go as planned, is also the vow to find the silver lining in all things…..Elsie has been, oh how shall I say this?……sassy lately……call it Kindergarten or a new baby or the new and exciting age of being 6 years old, but we have struggled with the way of speaking to each other in our house…..here is an example of a note that was handed to me a few weeks ago after I calmly announced that I would be happy to start dinner once the girls began to clean up the playroom after a play date…...


…..this one made me turn away to chuckle, but we are focusing on the fruits of the spirit around here…..

…..our spontaneous decision for Stefan and Elsie to still press on reaped many benefits…..Stefan could fill Elsie's little love tank and practice showing her gentleness, kindness and goodness…..we have learned that focusing on the inside of our little ones who act out has proven to fix the outward behavior……and the selfie photos Stefan took from their day alone make my heart do somersaults…..





…..I was able to stay in my pjs all day and love on my littlest ones…..I had quiet feedings with Mae, loved on Callie, built Lego creations with Brody and caught up on all kinds of house projects that I haven't had the chance to begin……not to mention, I was able to sterilize every bathroom and bed sheet in the house to protect the rest of us from catching her bug……it was actually the most lovely day we could have had in lieu of spending a family day on the mountain…...




 …..and the wonderful thing about long weekends is that we get an extra day….so we told the kids we would rain check the ski day until Monday morning…..the snow would be better on Monday anyway…..

                        …..and that was the plan, until we had to exert our flexibility once again…..

……BRAT diet take two…...


….so Stefan and both girls headed back to the mountain just over an hour away and I got another quiet day at home to spend with Brody and Mae…..



…..not only does applesauce and banana taste better on a red tray, but add a tent to the mix and being sick is actually a little exciting…..


…..being away from today's ski day may make me a bit more fond of it than I even was on Friday…..it's funny how the things we like and dislike as individuals can be so greatly influenced by the people we love….we see new sides to things, look at life from different lenses and practice empathy….

…..silver lining, baby….it's all around us….

…..my girls are turning into little snow bunnies who can actually whirl down a mountain in semi control…..and I can actually picture the proud smile on Stefan as he watches his two oldest grow as fond of the mountain as he has been for years…..


….I am hoping the virus stops with Brody, but if it doesn't; we'll be OK…..

…..here's to a healthy week of enjoying the small things…...




…..and for making changes from the inside out…..


….not exactly the note I had in mind, but we'll roll with the goodness of her gesture…..

Xx

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

.....gratitude......

......how does one sum up a 2 month maternity leave from this blog?......

......my Halloween post is still in edit mode and waiting to be published, 7 days later we had a baby, all 4 sets of grandparents have been here, Elsie turned 6, Thanksgiving came and went......we thought we had a colicky baby, but we don't (praise God!) and then the whirlwind of Christmas was upon us......I have 154 pictures to share, but this one sums up the last 8 weeks most appropriately......


....she's perfect......

....our home is chaotic and there have been a lot of emotions running rampant around here.......extreme excitement, hyper big siblings, exhausted parents, moments of extreme gratitude that runs to my core.......laughing, crying, yelling, hugging......it has been a full circle......

.....and I will post the story of how Mae entered the world......and I will share how loved she is in this house and how she has completed our family in more ways than one......




.....and I will also share the adjustments we are making......the set backs some of us have taken, the mistakes I have already made, the anxiety I have felt about so many different things when it comes to all of these little people......




.....there is a lot to tell, but it won't be tonight.....

.....tonight I am coming back to you, blog, to take a peek at what I have missed......the quiet times alone with you when I can lay out my heart and mind and document this time in our life that is so fragile, so beautiful, so blurry.......

....but so clearly precious and dear.....


.....it feels good to be back.....Xx