Thursday, September 23, 2010

.....ying and yang.....

......my girl had her backpack on an hour before it was time to leave for nursery school.....Mahee, is it time for me to go to school yet?.....half of me was thrilled about her excitement, her anticipation of time away with her new teachers, her new environment..... her time to be a big girl.....betuz 
all big girls go to school, Mahee....and Elsie IS a big girl....

.....the other part of me was torn that she is already so independent.....all ready to leave the nest.....her time to make new friends, figure some things out on her own and to take this first year of school three afternoons a week to grow at her own pace and in her own way.....oh, the mixed emotions of watching/wanting your little ones to fly.....


....and school is half a block away.....we can see the stoop of the old brownstone building from our front rod iron door....it's so easy to walk out of the house and be in her classroom in three short minutes.....




......and adding to the excitement is that Elsie gets to sport the new pink backpack she deliberately picked out....we shopped for backpacks all summer long and this little mouse is the one she kept coming back to....my girl knows what she wants....


.....and I like that about her....

.....and although she is starting to edge her way out of the nest a bit, she still wants to be like her Momma....she insisted on the second day of school that she bring her camera too....she simply wanted to imitate me snapping away.....and I like the reminders of how impressionable and important the job of motherhood is.....we are molding little people who watch everything we do....and that is an awesome responsibility....



......and her teacher, Miss Lauren was kind enough; as we Momma's and Daddy's were anxiously waiting out in the hallway on the first week of gentle separation, to crack the door and let us take a tiny peek.....

....and there she was....

....sitting near her new friends, Sofia and Benjamin, practicing cutting with scissors....


....oh, my heart throbbed with so many different emotions....

....and when I started to feel the emotions creeping in of my girl growing up faster than I'd like, I decided to take that uneasy energy and add it to the thrilling excitement of having extra time with my sweet, blooming toddler.....

.....Callie walked into her toddlers in tutus class last week with a mission.....


.....my littlest loves to bust a move and I love to watch her.....


....and the first class of 12 toddlers in tutus being taught first and second ballet positions was a bit hectic.....so I didn't get a chance to snap as many photos dancing as I would have liked.....all of these littles needed abundant assistance with concentration and holding their little feet in strange and daunting positions....

.....but when the teacher paused the ballet lesson for a tea party, I ran for the camera....there is nothing Callie loves more than pretend play.....especially girlie tea parties with real porcelain miniature cups and saucers.....



......and albeit she had her apple juice/pretend hot tea all over the floor and herself, it may have been the weekly episode in our family that gave me an ear to ear grin for the entire rest of the week.....she would slam the juice so fast and delicately make her way over to the teacher for some more, peez.....



.....this was her last and final tea cup.....after the 6th request, her teacher simply said there is no more.....

......and with that, my content and ladylike ballerina was not so happy anymore.....


....and with that, class was also over....what timing!.....

.....and so we settled into our home......still under renovations, so not so quiet or cozy; but filled with three people I love and adore....

.....and this weekend is full of parties and celebration; but will allow for some good family time, nonetheless.....allowing us to focus on each other before the new week starts and we make some more headway into our new routines......

.....a time to reflect on the present, the today....a time to enjoy my girls as they are, because before I know it, Callie will be going to nursery school three days per week and the flood of emotions of my baby leaving the nest will overcome me.....

......and then on to the next phase of life, the next and then the next.....before I have two grown women as daughters.....ones that I will certainly be proud of for whatever they become and however they decide to trek through their journey.....but I certainly don't want to think back to any moments of our life where I did not enjoy the smallest event with them, or savor an experience, or a phase- and not just the good phases, the trying ones too.....it's the roll of emotions as a mother that remind me to not wish the tough phases away....the emotions I've had this week where I am fretting that my babies are emerging as these little people, when just a split second ago, they were my day old babies.....yet, I can remember wishing that the newborn phase of sleep deprivation would pass soon, that the teething phase would be behind us quickly, that as soon as she can talk, we'll be in a less frustrating place....and although in the midst of those phases, they do feel long and taxing.....but in reality, it's a blip in the marathon of life.....they are gone so  instantly that I forget why I wished them away in the first place.....

.....yet on the other hand, it's the moments of stirring and uplifting joys of parenthood that we want to press pause on our screen of life....we want the good phases to linger, the warm and comfortable newness of blooming maturity to stay.....the distinct and meaningful, I love yous, the book reading as babes learn new words and pictures, the cuddling, the 4am feeling of someone staring at you while sleeping to awake to a set of big blue eyes longing to be with Mommy and Daddy.....it's heartwarming thinking about those moments, let alone experiencing the sweetness of them....

....so I vow to take the good with the more struggling times.....it's being aware of the things we want to change and improve upon that help us to emerge as the people we want to be.....and although I suck the life out of good and fabulous moments, I need to be more thankful in the stressful and demanding jaunts.....I need to suck the life out of those times too.....because when it's all said and done, Stefan and I will be looking back on a life full of experiences that fall on each end of the spectrum....and I want to have cherished the entire story....our story....

....so I am off to savor our overly tired school girl who is adjusting to not napping on school days, our dusty home that is almost finished being torn up and put back together, our teething 19 month old who hasn't slept all week....and I am loving it all ever so passionately....

.....savoring every minute....

1 comment :

Amy said...

It is so hard watching your little ones grow up! Your girls are precious!