Wednesday, November 13, 2013

.....maternity leave.....

.....I haven't been by here in a few weeks......

......we have been tending to more important matters in this blessed household......


.....meet Mae Elizabeth.....

......she arrived quickly last Thursday, November 7 and was a tiny little bundle of joy; weighing only 6 pounds, 11 ounces.......

.....she is alert, fully aware she was born into a bustling family and she is being showered with love......


......I am going to take some time to soak up every bit of her and will be back soon with the details of how she has completed our family in so many ways......

......off to love on our newborn.....


.....XOXOXO......

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

.....fall harvest......

.....it has been several days since Stefan arrived home from traveling for 6 weeks straight......to say he crammed in his big trips before baby would be an understatement.......the last 6 weeks went something like this......Brazil for 5 days, home for 8 hours to unpack, repack and head to New Orleans for 2 days......swap out bags over breakfast with the kids before heading to the office for a full day, only to catch a red eye to Germany for bedtime......etc, etc, etc and ouch......and that was only two of the six weeks......it wasn't fun......

......the kids did not like the in and out of the house in the least.......especially Brody, who is adjusting to nursery school and the anticipation of a new baby who will soon make a grand entrance......his best buddy was scarce around here and Brody is a typical two and half year old who is very strong willed and opinionated.....this summed up to a losing combo for everyone.......I think of windows, divorced mommas, single parents and military wives all the time when I am in a phase of solo parenting.....I don't know how they do it.......

......we took full advantage of our first Sunday afternoon together and unplugged to everything and everyone.......we drove without a destination and soaked in the autumn goodness that comes with the month of October......we stopped at farms, fruit stands, pumpkin patches and chicken coops.......we found a gorgeous, remote spot for a picnic and relished in the solitude of just our family in an open field surrounded by maple trees......we missed a lot of pictures because we left our phones behind for a lot of the day.......it was lovely and we were lost in making up for lost time......





.....Brody covered his face so Stefan couldn't see him upon their reunion.......he ran away from Stefan and avoided him at all costs for the first hour of Stefan being home......but eventually, his grudge wore off and my boy was happy to be reunited with one of his favorites.....


....the girls have each other and watching their sisterhood grow has been such a gift....we would have never planned to have two children 15 months apart, but God is good and knows what is best for us.....the closeness of their age is such a blessing......


.....children are resilient and bounce back to their routines quickly......it did not take long after Stefan returned for them to fall back into the security of their happy little home and start counting the days until their Papa T's visit from Texas.....Stefan's Dad planned a trip at the end of the summer and we have been excited to show him our slice of the suburbs......


.....it is easy to understand why Brody is so impacted when Stefan isn't present in our house......over the last few months, he has loved to be around other males.....it doesn't matter if it's Papa T, a new little boy he met at the playground, or our mailman; Brody soaks in the testosterone and relishes in the attention and adoration of other males.....he is definitely bonding and associating that there is a difference between boys and girls and right now, he chooses boy......

......and over the weekend, he chose Papa T.......besides Daddy on a few occasions, there was no one else that he wanted to spend his time with......




....and that is just as much of a joy to see as watching two sisters bond over sidewalk chalk and dress up clothes.....

.....I am enjoying my three children immensely right now.....



......fall always inspires me to head back to the kitchen after a summertime break......I have signed up for the local CT farm share and we are on week two of having organic and local grown vegetables delivered to our door......we participated in a farm share in NYC and it was one of the best ideas to kick start us in to healthy eating and creative cooking for the fall......

.....the fresh beets have been amazing in my micro green salads and I blanched and froze the swiss chard to add to our kale smoothies this winter.......



....and as much as we love our vegetables, Stefan is still a Texan and our home will always been a meat  and potatoes kind of home......I crave red meat, especially when pregnant; but I have been really selective on the beef I am buying to be consumed in our home.....there are so many horrific things I have read about the meat that is available for consumers to purchase and I have gotten to the point that I will only buy grass fed and hormone free meat......

.....not long ago, OBE Organic reached out to me and asked me to try their beef......they are an Australian organic meat wholesaler of free range beef and I have to tell you, it was the best burger Stefan has ever made......I sent Stefan to the store to purchase their products and he ended up coming home with several pounds of OBE Organic ground beef........it is football season after all and my man loves the game and his grill......he added a few spices that he normally does to his burgers, but these were exceptional.....


....we combined them with homemade french fries from the local potatoes we received from our CT farm share and were feeling pretty good about eating "burgers and fries" for the night.......you can follow OBE Organic on Facebook, as they post great recipes to try, too......I am looking forward to trying the slow cooker beef stew recipe next......and I am sure I can find some veggies in the house to add to it too......

.....happy fall eating.......

.....16 days and counting......


Friday, October 11, 2013

.....rock the vote......Circle of Moms......

....I am thrilled to announce that Our blessed, beautiful suburban story has been nominated again for Circle of Mom's Top 25 Family Blogs......winning this last year opened doors for some great sponsorship opportunities with large and small businesses and also helped me meet some amazing people in cyber world......

......click on the link below......

.....I would love your vote and appreciate your support......




......happy weekend!.....

Thursday, October 10, 2013

....birthday bliss......

.....as a girl, I loved fall because it meant my birthday was around the corner.....I love celebrating birthdays, even my own.......I love Halloween, love the anticipation of dressing up and I loved the actual night of knocking on as many doors as I could in a 3 hour time span......the candy counting and consuming was a bonus, too.....

.....as an adult and most recently during the last decade in the northeast, I love fall in a more complex way......yes, I still love to celebrate my birthday, although I do not necessarily like the aging factor; but the colors and climate combined with the pumpkin patches and apple trees puts me in an October tizzy.....and now, as the new season approaches and I also witness my children enjoying the novelty of the season, I am also lured back into the memory of having my first child almost six fall seasons ago......


.....two more children followed shortly after her.......so now as the bliss of my birthday arrives every year, I find myself pondering all day on how I can be a better example to them over the next year.....not just as a mother; but as an example of a good and noble wife, a dear and loving friend, a compassionate and attentive neighbor, and a God seeking woman who also can stand independently with her own traits and talents......

....they watch and absorb it all and as each birthday year rolls by, I have less time to mold and shape them......I have less time to use my one big, beautiful life to impact them the way I intend to......the way I want to.....





.....yesterday, I thought a lot about attentiveness and inclusion in our home.....three kids ages 5, 4 and 2 already makes for a lot of commotion......talking over one another, yelling, sharing, screaming, not sharing, loving, playing, laughing, crying, wrestling, hugging, giggling and seeking time from me......lots of time from me.......and in less than 30 days, there will be one more trumpet to sound, as our last baby gloriously makes her arrival......


.....sure I have ideas on how I can improve at making each of my children feel more included and connected in our family......I have intentions on how I want to change some of the ways I show them my attentiveness, especially on days such as yesterday when my eyes burned, sleep was scarce and I am all over the board, hormonally......some days I will rock it out well and other days, I will fail miserably......and in the end, as long as I own up to my mistakes and there are more victorious days than defeats, then that's a win for all of us......

.....we will be celebrating wildly this weekend since Stefan was out of town on my actual birthday........but the best gift of all was knowing that in a few short days, our family will come full circle this fall season......six years ago, the fullest, greatest blessing was given to me as I became a mother on a crisp, fall night......and soon, on another fall day in the near future, we will wrap up this amazing journey of creating babies and our family will be complete......

.....our family will be whole.....

.....Stefan sent flowers yesterday and the card attached will forever remain in a place I can view it often......recently, we agreed on her name and he included her in the card......it was the first time I have seen the names of my four children next to Stefan's name......the first time I have seen our family documented in one place.....the people I love.....the ones I adore......the reason I love the fall season and every day before, after and in between......


....sorry.....we are keeping her name under wraps until she makes her grand entrance.....

....happy fall.....happy day......happy year ahead......

Sunday, September 29, 2013

.....stream of consciousness......

 ....he melts my heart, truly......this momma/son experience has been such a blessing and I tell him daily he is my favorite boy......glad he's got that going for him because it awes me how many of his "firsts" get watered down by the commotion of our bustling home......


........Elsie's first day of nursery school was huge.....grandparents sent cards, I took a million pictures and we shopped all summer for her backpack.....the one that she had eye balled the spring prior to school and talked about for months.....

.....Callie also had her fair share of attention on her big day......Elsie played with friends while I took Callie to class and absorbed the experience with her......we stopped for ice cream afterwards and slowly shared our treats with one another......

......Brody has three pictures from his first day, a fourth one taken by a friend who captured his unwillingness to pose any more and I neglected to carry in the canon to snap pictures of him as I watched him explore his new classroom......I meant to grab the canon, but the bus came, Elsie hopped on, Callie was excited for her first day of school, we didn't want to be late and half way into the drive it occurred to me that I never ran back upstairs to grab the canon.......after school was out, I threw the kids in the back of the car to get a latte because I needed a mid morning caffeine fix and every time I asked Brody about his first day, his sister jumped in to throw in a cool highlight about her new 4s class......

....oh, my sweet boy who is surrounded by the chit chat of women......bless you......

......I am going through a phase in which I know that I can not do it all and I am actually OK with it.....it's liberating to know that trying my best is good enough.......I barely have it together with three children and in 6 short weeks, we will have another sweet babe to care for and I am at peace knowing that our baby will be lucky to have even just one picture taken on the first day of nursery school.....

.....but in between the lack of capturing moments such as these, there will be a lot of love, laughter and cherishing because that's one thing we do well in our brood......





.....three weeks into nursery school now and I am finely in tune with how fast the year will pass.....I especially notice myself carving out time with Callie while Brody naps because I know in just 10 short months, she will be joining the bus with her sister to begin her long days of learning......she will leave this haven of comfort with familiar faces and enter the same new big world that Elsie is engulfed in this year.......



.....she will explore new things and learn in ways that enrich her and I will not get the sneak peeks from her teachers as to what she does when she is away from me.....she will be one of many more children navigating her way to find her own niche and she will have to soar on her own......


.....and just as I have with Elsie, I will ask myself as Kindergarten approaches......did I do enough when I had her home with me?.......did we read enough? play enough? bake enough? have good talks? take spontaneous adventures?.......will she remember the five years she had at home five years from now?.....am I capturing enough pictures? writing down our best times in this blog? creating moments of laughter and adventure?.......

.....some of my answers will make me proud of my momma job and some of my answers will have me tweaking things for Brody's sake and his soon to be sibling's sake......it's how we mold and change and grow and improve and it's all healthy and good and uncomfortable, simultaneously......

.....Elsie is gone from 830-330 pm everyday......she is gone 35 hours a week, not to mention the time she wants to take piano lessons or run the soccer field.........on the weekends, we have 48 hours to make up for that time and I am balancing it with two and soon to be three other children and a husband who I need and want to carve time out with, too.......


.....it's a crazy game of balance......of ebb and flow and some days I win and other days are tough defeats.....but to keep it simple, I engage whole heartedly, keep our schedule simple and refuse to commit to too many things that diffuse our time together......


.....I watch my babes play, join when they ask and try to encourage their quest for learning......


.....I have always tried to savor, savor, savor.....it's part of the mantra of this blog......but it wasn't until my oldest went to Kindergarten and the first month of school passed, allowing time to settle and for me to feel the lack of her presence upon the home that I realized the time is really vanishing......

......Callie is next and in less than a year, two of my four will be gone for long days and my early years with both of them will be memories......the new experience will be great, yes......and clearly, there are days when the simplicity of less kids at home is liberating......but the acknowledgement that time is slipping by is greater in my world today than it was only a few short months ago......

......my last ultrasound......ever......


.....the anticipation of a third baby when the girls were still so little is starting to be a long time ago because my girls are not so little anymore......



.....pregnant with Brody at 32 weeks......


.....pregnant with new baby #4 at 32 weeks......


.....our house bustles, the weeks zip by, I forget the good canon camera on Brody's first day......so we may have less pictures for his big moment as a new 2's class nursery school student......

.....but I am keenly aware of the precious little ordinary moments that make up the most important ones for our brood......and those are the ones that really count.....

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

.....just short of a decade......

 ....there are many times throughout the year that I settle in to relive our wedding pictures; although I must admit that the time I have to browse through them has declined as our life has grown fuller......but just as this favorite picture from our reception suggests; time, events, and moments in our life have blurred past us over our nine years of marriage, but we have stayed fixed and focused on one another....tonight I am grateful and blessed by our ability to put blinders on to so many distractions that can burden a couple who enthusiastically say, "I do" on their wedding day.....


.....not to say that our marriage is perfect, as there have been thoughtless words said and inconsiderate gestures we wish we could take back.....but overall, I married a man who cherishes me fully and I adore and love everything he does for me and our family......


.....this last year of marriage has been the most serious one we have endured.....there have been heavy conversations, stresses we have faced that have been new to both of us, and unified decisions that took a long time to become banded......but that isn't to say that there hasn't been joy this year, either.....

......there has been a treasure that has been opened to us......a gift that is received when the blur in life is so foggy and disorienting that instead of being distracted by its discomfort and aggravation; you cleave to one another a bit tighter to make your way through until there is even the slightest visibility.......and when the murkiness begins to lift, instead of letting go, your grasp is welded in a new place that it wasn't before.....and that steadfastness and permanence and solidity and strength provides for a place where love endures......


.....yours always and forever......



...143....

Sunday, September 15, 2013

.....long live summer......

......just before the weather turned sporadically chilly, as it usually does in September; we crammed in one more hot beach day......this wasn't your ordinary beach day......our beloved William made the drive up from the city and joined the rest of us NYC transplants for suburban, long live summer fun.......

....this picture slays me, as the entire day was full of sweet moments like this....

......inherently, the children may have known this would be one of the last full days to frolic on the beach before we are geared up in our wool and hoodies to pick apples and pumpkins......they savored it and they savored it real good......


....and it truly amazes me every year how September can hold a beach day and a boot day all within the same week, when August had us melting......the week before our family trip to the Hamptons this year, we shook down the end of summer with several friends who made special trips to see us......




....eleven years ago when Stefan was just beginning to become important in my life, Becky and I shared a cottage in downtown Austin, Texas.....there were five of us in that little house and we laughed, threw parties, danced and laughed some more.....there was never a dull moment and I am truly thankful for that phase in my life that was free, fun and easy......fewer and farther between, our visits are not as frequent as we'd like, but we make the most of the time we can get.....

      ....love your little finger in the bottom left hand corner, Elsie.....


....and our four girls, virtually the same age, play and laugh and sing and share and make believe just as you would image ten years prior that you and a best friend's children would someday do.......




.....and Brody fully in the mix this visit, made for a new dynamic.....the girls adoringly included him in everything and he relished in the attention......






.....so before fall arrives in its radiant and warm glory and I declare that it is my favorite time of year, I need to repeat for one last time during this season that summer is fabulous, too.....


.....the lazy, easy and slow days are long and they linger; but I welcome the longevity of them......friends drive and fly and pop in off trains for spontaneous visits and we hardly sleep when they're here and use the time to its fullest.....we eat well thought out meals that we cook together, drink cold beverages with splashes of fresh fruit and spend endless time outside.....and just before we start to take for granted the freedom of the season, fall is upon us begging us for structure and school routines and we welcome those too.......


.....but not before we honor one last sweet, summer day......