Thursday, April 29, 2010

....beauty and its many forms.....

.....When God gave us trees and flowers and fresh spring blooms, He also gave us beauty in those things....and its been that gift that awes me anytime I see something unforgettable....it's been amazing to see how beautiful Central Park is since I have had the time to explore it.....it's one of my most favorite places to go in the city.....It's close enough for us to walk, yet far enough that I plan for the trip......

......and I often wonder how all of the years prior to children I never made it a priority to go to the park.....I suppose because after working a 60 hour work week, Saturdays and Sundays were for getting the chores done, taking time to get the home in order, squeeze in some fun and then start to ramp up for the week ahead on Sunday afternoons....

....so one of the blessings I have in my "new life" as a stay at home Mom is the appreciation of the beauty we are offered... to teach my children to explore, love and savor all that we have in our backyard......and they are quickly learning to love Central Park as much as I do......




......and I think I get a little nostaligic in April.....as April is the month that marks 2 years since I left my career to stay at home....and although I would never change my decision, there are times I miss aspects of my old life....and I am quickly snapped out of it when I get a smile, an unexpected kiss or a laugh.....or watching the girls sleep at night when I am either reflecting on a long day or a day that was full of excitement and celebration.....

......and then I think of the opportunuity I have to teach my children so many of the things that my career taught me.....12 years of life lessons.....12 years that now seems a different lifetime ago....
.....but so many things I want my girls to know.....


.....do everything with passion and enthusiasm....

....you will inspire others which gives you the opportunity to make an impression that could change them forever.....


.....expand your perspective.....

....seek to understand.....it will give you compassion and a different outlook.....

 

....don't ever settle....

....strive to excel....strive to make changes that will make you better.....you will never know your capabilities until your forced to reach deep within....and you can always reach higher than you think you can.....


.....Relationships are everything....

.....good relationships build winning teams, nurturing families, life long friendships....
.....love your neighbor....


.....learn from your mistakes....


.....learn to say you are sorry....


......and know that every conflict, disagreement, and failure hurts; but they always lead to a better place in the end....

.....a clean slate, a new beginning, forgiveness.....a new opportunity....


.....dream BIG.....

.....not only does it make the journey more fun, but more rewarding.....


......find the small things that are significant....

.....make them meaningful and use them to change the inconsequential bigger things......


.....family always comes first....

.....at the end of the day, it's our families that we want to protect, support, and nurture....

......so on my nostaligic, April days when I reflect on my old life....I look around me and am so content to combine my past with my present....and this new phase of my life has only just begun....our girls are so young, our family still 14 months into being a little foursome....hills and valleys are ahead of us, but just as the beauty of Central Park in April is unforgettable, so are these days....

....and that's beautiful too....

Photography by Sara Blackburn

Sunday, April 25, 2010

......same old same old.......with a twist......

......after two full days, we were unpacked and back to our routine....the weather has been amazing, which always makes for a guarenteed happy mood for all.....

....but as always, anytime I return from a good family trip,  I get the post visit blues....I start to miss so many of the people I love....not that we aren't grateful for our neighbors, our church friends, or our other "family" on the other side of the Hudson River.....it's all of those people who make NYC home....

.....however, I do get in my preoccupied state of being.......happy, but a bit distant in thought......thinking about how great it would be to see my parents more frequently......I wonder about all of the "firsts" I am missing with my baby nephew.......I grin at the thought of how each of my brothers can have me in stitches within the first millisecond of saying hello face to face.......I start to long for a good conversation and a glass of wine with one of my old girlfriends.....

.......and so to get me out of the "family is so far away funk",  I try extra hard to find happiness in getting back into our routine.....

......and this weekend was perfect for it.....


......meeting old friends at a new park on the Upper West Side.....

......not only does it give you the warm and fuzzies to see a family that you haven't seen in over a year, but we also found a new love for tire swings.....

.......and if you close your eyes, the tire swing is REALLY fun!.....


......Elsie's new phrase caught in action.....

...."One more minute!".....already the negotiator.....it's like pulling teeth trying to get her to come in from being outside......she's in her element outdoors.....







......Callie refusing to wear shoes.....

.......I'm just waiting for the day we get home and I realize she has removed her shoes and thrown them overboard, causing an extra 30 minute backtrack searching the city for the lonely toddler shoe.....

.......in the meantime, I just love her little mischievous grin.......hiding behind the salvaged shoe after she realized she had been caught.....her grins are intoxicating....


......Elsie wanting to jump off EVERYTHING.....

.........a family walk around the neighborhood now takes an extra 20 minutes......and about 50 jumps......every step in sight is a candidate for our little jumping bean.......


.......only a NYC girl would say, "Look! Menus!!!"........

........menus at doorsteps are a dime a dozen......anything can be delivered.....and with each delivery, neighbors and building mates are the lucky recipients of paper menus crammed under the door crack......we had to chuckle when after one of her jumping sessions, Elsie quickly realized the doorway of her step was stuffed with a few...... so maybe we should try Ko Sushi......according to Elsie, their food is "SO YUMMY"....


......a family trip to the hardware store.....

......our girl loves to shop......give her a basket and she will surely find something interesting.....even at the hardware store, she found some candles that she just had to have.......

.......and little Callie is taking it all in......






.......baking cupcakes for all of our friends in the building....

.....what's not a better way to tell our friends how much we missed them with some good old fashioned,  toddler made cupcakes......with a little extra vegetable oil, a bit of double dipping and a few egg shells...... all mixed in with a little love....

....from our little baker herself....



.......a silly little moment with Daddy!!!......

....it was just a simple walk to the hardware store.....a break from Stefan's studying and a chance for all four of us to be outside together for a fraction of the day....
......and in one click, I caught one of those heart melting seconds of normal life.....a father and daughter just crossing the street......
......but this moment to me epitomizes the influence a parent has over their child.....such glee and excitement for the love and attention a daughter receives from her Daddy....and it's a responsibility that we don't take for granted one moment.....

......so in the conundrum of routine, we found a lot of joy this weekend....we are home, we are thankful for our blessings, we are living each day inspired to find the smiles, the laughter and the little memories in everything we do....

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

.....1800 miles ago......

......Everyday there are things that a mother gets the chance to see that reinforces their littlest ones are growing up....some are slight, some are subtle....and then you get the big ones that really move you.....the ones you won't ever forget.......

.......Elsie had her first sleepover at someone else's house......yes, I was there too......but it was a real sleep over in her eyes.......Harper's house!.....Elsie was in a new place, new faces, a new big girl bed......and although bedtime was a little scary at first, she mustered herself together after hearing about what was to come the next day.....and she was so brave.....she wiped her tears and decided she was going to do this.....and she did...boldly.....


.....and Harper was so sweet and dear to her....and they became fast friends....


.....which isn't surprising considering the friendship I have with Harper's Momma.....

.....Becky and I used to live together in Austin......she is one of those people.....the kind that when I met her I knew that we would always be friends....we had that kind of connection that is tough to find for most....the kind of connection that extends past going through the same "phase" together.....the kind of connection where you know right off the bat that person is there for your present and future....and after time goes by- the past too because then they become part of your memories....

......A decade later, we have 1800 miles between us.....collectively we have 4 little girls, two great husbands, and share the craziness of life....taking care of toddlers, balancing career, motherhood and all of the other demands that pull us in different directions.....a time zone that isn't always conducive to catching up....but we still seem to pick up where we left off....and a full week in Austin solely at Becky's house wouldn't have been enough time for me to get my full share of her.....she's just one of those people that as long as time passes, I will well up with emotion when I see her.....




....she's just a loving, good natured soul who I don't get to see enough......


......and our girls all loved being together too......I couldn't get the smile plastered off my face....it was just darling......4 girls under 4.....and Harper taught Elsie how to be a big girl.....and big girls have sleep overs......

.......Elsie got so good at it, she wanted to do it again the next night......so she and cousin Zailey had another little sleep over at Mimi and JJs house.....this time she was well trained.....and knew that sleep overs mean staying up late....



........and as our trip started to come to a close, we had a little more time for cousin 
play......



.....and time for some sisterly fun.....


......and then the end of our visit showed its face....it always causes such angst when the goodbye arrives....as much as we love our NYC life, there is something to be said to have family so close.....the helping hands, the knowing glance during a difficult few minutes with a toddler, the reassuring smiles, the hugs for no reason, the laughter, the honesty, the family meals.....

......and with some of our family- we know the next visit is near because it's already in the calendar.....the tickets are booked......and with others, it's a little more hollow....the goodbye....because with some, we don't know when the next visit will be.....and the unknown seems too far away to bear....


.....so until then, we can hold the memories tight.....know that distance never wins in the game of keeping families close.......and be thankful for the love and joy we all bring each other.....

......1800 miles worth of love and joy....

Friday, April 16, 2010

....aint no place like Texas......

.......They say that all things are bigger and better in Texas......so it's no surprise that me and my girls showed up with a BANG.....car sickness, cleaning car seats more than once, 104.3 fevers, semi potty training at Mimi's house, we are making ourselves at home in a hurry....we are officially here and enjoying our family time.....the good Lord has blessed all of the cousins with health and happiness and it has been a sweet reunion.....


......we have colored......played with bowls, balls, & babies.....



........played with our pretend jewelry, rocked in chairs, read books......


.....and of course we have dressed up like the princesses that all of the girls are......


......and our prince of the bunch too.....


.......we have played on indoor playgrounds, determined to not let the grey sky and rain deter our quest for fun....... 



........it's been a time for catching up, telling stories and relishing in togetherness.......


.......a time for first time introductions of new cousins......



.......and it's just beginning.....the weekend hasn't even arrived yet....

........more rain in the forecast, but there isn't anything stopping this group from smiling, shining.....staying in our happy, chaotic place of togetherness.....

....our family....

Monday, April 12, 2010

....farewell cherry blossoms.....hello blue bonnets.....

......there's alway something about the prepration of taking a trip.....we leave for Austin tomorrow and the girls are beyond excited.....suitcases are strung around everywhere, piles of treats for the plane in many different nooks of the house, stickers, crayons and a DVD player tucked in the magical spot for passing time of strict confinement for a 2 year old.....the excitement of a new place, wide eyes as they hear their cousins and grandparents names that they will see in less than 24 hours....

.....for me it's the longing for family time- I can't wait to visit with my inlaws, laugh and drink wine with all of the ladies of the family, love all over my nieces and nephews and banter with all of the men in the family who are quickly being out numbered by women......I can't wait to see old friends- to watch our children play together and reminisce about our Austin days....the days in which our lives were carefree and flexible, but not filled with half of the richness we have today.....

....by the time we return home, the cherry blossoms will be gone....and we will have to wait until next year to see their breath taking splendor.....but the blue bonnets are blooming in Texas and they are also spectacular....their vivid blue sprawling on hills and grassy plains.....both beautiful, but both so different...

....so here is a little something that will help to remember NYC the week we are away......


Friday, April 9, 2010

.....purge, store, swap, SPRING!!!

....As I write this, I am taking a break from the ever so dreaded winter/summer clothes swap......due to small quarters in our city living, we are forced to swap and store clothes as the weather changes.....we purge quite often and have become masters at having a place for everything.....
......it's been a complete craft learning how to be so organized.....and when the hours of countless piles are all put away in their spots, boxes of clothes we won't see for months are moved into multiple storage units, and plastic containers for the next season "on deck" are arranged on top of our closet; it's an accomplished feeling....a sigh, a collapse on the couch, a glass of wine to start not only the weekend, but the new season.....and for us, spring is here to stay......




....there is nothing like watching two sisters playing ball.....Elsie always looking out for her "Callie baby", Callie always excited to bask in the attention....

.....although I felt compelled to break all together from this chore....in the middle of reorganzing Callie's things, I felt the lump in my throat starting to swell....pulling out Elsie's wardrobe from last spring and summer made me giddy....remembering her 1 year old-ness....her first summer of running around parks independently, the grass under her feet, the popcycle stains on play clothes.....it was lively being brought back into the pages of my own memory book of my first born.....
.......and then to make room for the new, I started to put my baby's 6-12 month winter clothes in a pile and that's when the lump started.....and I felt compelled to capture my thoughts.....

.....it's a dreary, wet spring day.....my girls are at Barnes and Noble having the time of their lives with their friends.....and all I can do is focus on the future of two toddlers.....two sweet little girls....it's so exciting and I can say that I am living in the moment....trying to treat each day like it's own......
....however, this time around; the evolution of my second born to toddlerhood has been so bittersweet....perhaps I know how fast it all goes at this point....I am already seeing hair morph onto her perfectly shaped head....I have loved her 13 month baldness so much.....she is rapidly growing tall before my eyes and I can see the little rolls on her thighs disappearing....and it's moments like packing away her first Christmas dress, or her patent leather mary janes that look so small to me today that brings about the flood of emotions....

....and after the boxes are put away, the feelings will pass.....I can appreciate them for what they are, but relish in the little person that she is becoming.....and the first little crush she already has.....



....it's her William....he is Elsie's friend, but Callie and William also have a special bond.....Callie loves to go wherever William goes......and she is always two steps behind......


....and always excited when he is around......

......and so I settle into this Friday with the warm weathered clothes all put in their places.....a full size bigger for each of my girls' than we had last summer.....anticipation and excitement of what this new season will bring....