.....it wasn't that long ago when I was wondering when the nesting would begin.....knowing for certain there would be a coming day when I would start to get uncomfortable in the disarray and discombobulation in my cozy adobe.....when at a moment's notice I would snap at the sight of the clutter pouring off my shelves and the tizzy would begin.....I have known it's been coming, ever so silently; as I started a list of "big projects before baby" a few weeks ago.....and with a family trip to our storage unit in NJ last weekend, hauling back crates of newborn clothes, burp rags, the boppy and activity saucers; the silent, sly nesting urge landed within me with a crackling jolt.....because I have been a crazy person ever since......
......I had my girls settled at a play date downtown, had returned alone to do 3 loads of laundry and had pulled out everything in my kitchen cabinets by 10:30am before I decided to document the transformation .....
.....my candles are now reachable and categorized by upcoming season......Fresh Linen and Spring Air are on deck....all of the cookbooks are alphabetized, all of my appetizer serving dishes are reachable without a stool for impromptu guests who swing by.....because I disdain having to pull out a stool to make a plate of brie and bread and having my guests feel like I am going through trouble.....the stool has made it seem like whipping up a few nibbles is trouble and I want my friends and family to feel comfortable while I effortlessly pull down a serving tray as we catch up, marvel, and laugh without the interruption of stepping up on a stool to reach the olive dish......enough said.....problem solved....
.....and of course I got caught up reminiscing at an old cookbook that one of my best friends made me 13 years ago.....I found it in the back of a cabinet and I hadn't looked through it in years....and right next to my beloved handmade cookbook from Allison were the 6 shells that were laid out on our pillow during the turndown service each night from our honeymoon in St. John......six fabulous nights, six fabulous shells......shells I had envisioned using around a candle lit centerpiece at a summer dinner gathering with friends while we clinked glasses of crisp summer wine to accompany our fish and beet salads.....
......the summer gatherings with good food and good wine have occurred over the years, but without the sentimental centerpiece accents.....as I had forgotten about the shells and the cookbook.....
.....now both are at an arms reach....good food and good dinner conversations to come this summer.... surrounded by sentimental decor; thanks to my newfound treasures......
......and I was already missing my girls by noon.....the quietness of a toddler free home was still felt amid my blaring playlist.....and the surge of guilt began....I reminded myself that I used my weekends when I was a working, pregnant Momma to be with Elsie to scrub every wall of the house with the Magic Eraser.....and I checked Elsie into the same play date my girls were at today when I was expecting Callie.....her pregnancy had me obsessed with mopping my walls, vacuuming my furniture and scrubbing my baseboards with clorox....today my girls were playing together in a warm environment, enhancing their creative skills with peers, so why did I need to feel so guilty?....this baby gets the same treatment of Momma doing what she thinks the house needs in order to welcome baby into an organized mecca.....this pregnancy has me obsessed with using every square inch of our apartment to accommodate a family of five....so my internal conversations and recollections of past pregnancies stifled the guilt for a while so I could carry on with my frenzy....
.....but I still had baby cupcakes waiting for the girls when I brought them home.....and not just any baby cupcakes....Two Little Red Hen cupcakes.....the best ones in the neighborhood......
.....and after our sweets, skipping bath time in exchange for a deal we would wash up in the morning, and browsing through some new library books Elsie brought home from school, we turned it in for the night....and I have to say that missing my littles and having waves of guilt throughout the day fueled a night of good quality time while the three of us cruised through our nightly routine....
....and it will be a night that I rest next to each of them while they sleep and stroke their hair, whisper sweet nothings and inhale their innocence.....because when the fury of nesting arrives, it also brings with it a renewed appreciation for savoring every minute.....the newborn that will soon arrive will only be a newborn for a few short weeks........just as my 3 year old and soon to be 2 year old will only be adoring toddlers for so long......
.......so I am turning down my sheets tonight more appreciative for the craziness of my home most days of the week....anxiously anticipating a full day of lessons, school and running around tomorrow......vowing to relish in normal Thursday routine.....and I am also a little less crazed than I was earlier today because my cabinets look like this.....
.....and I am fueled by the best of what my nesting unveils......