Tuesday, January 10, 2012

....Momma got her groove back.....

.....It's almost impossible for me to write now without incorporating our impeding move out of the city in my posts......I toured nursery schools yesterday in the town we will probably move to and I arrived home after an 8 hour day exhausted......physically and mentally drained and with emotions all over the place.....with all of these life changes swirling around in my head and my heart, I find it hard to write without including the fact that every day during my normal routine-....the school pick ups, drop offs, the ballet classes, the gymnastics, the music classes, the casual conversations with neighbors who have turned into dear friends, the play dates.......I can't help but think, all of this is all about to change......city living is an experience that has been so precious to me and there are days I am still not sure I am ready to give it up.....




.....but I will move off those thoughts for now so that this post isn't the third consecutive essay half dreading, half anxiously anticipating new beginnings......I'll save it all up for a real whopper when I can't contain the bubbling emotions any more.....





....the nursery schools were fabulous, by the way.....warm, encouraging, challenging, bright, cheerful, God loving and all with gorgeous, large classrooms.....it will take me a while to get used to having space.....what a luxury.....

.....our routine is actually clicking and it's taken me since September when both girls began nursery school to get my mojo together.....I have been very challenged with this year's school schedule, as Elsie is every morning and Callie is three afternoons per week.......there have been days that I make 8 trips to our beloved house of little people.....Brody has been a trooper and has held off on naps, been waken from his naps, missed a snooze all together or has dozed off amidst the hustle and bustle.....but with the help of good planning, a great babysitter, and mostly amazing friends that chip in; we have been able to get it together and it feels really good to finally hit my groove......

....and if I were an incentive driven preschooler, I would give myself the reward of a ring pop for the accomplishment.....


.....because rewards keep us aiming for more and for the first time since I gave birth, I feel like I can take on just that.....more play dates at my house, a meal for another Momma who just had a baby, an extra hour to volunteer at the girls' school....and being able to extend myself to others just a bit more feels good.....


.....but the the bottom line is that as Brody approaches his 9 month mark, I am just getting a handle on juggling three small children.....for all of the Mommas out there who say that adding a third is a piece of cake, I would like to know what kind of cake you are eating?.....


....sometimes I wonder if I have felt so overwhelmed because all three of mine are at home and not in full time school.....sometimes I wonder if I bit off more than I could chew.....sometimes I wonder if I am just not capable.....sometimes I wonder if I will always feel like I am barely getting by.....luckily, my confidence has regained some momentum as I have had some successful weeks.....

.....lately I have wondered if it's been challenging because of how we live.....without a backyard, getting outside is an all of us or none of us deal......no front driveway for chalk or backyard for jumping through a sprinkler while the baby naps.......so when Brody has to sleep and the girls want to go run around, my hands are tied......

....so we sure do color a lot.....

....but no matter what, three has been busier and that has taken some adjustment to hone in on my organizational skills.....planning enough time to take one somewhere and pick up the other; all with enough time to bundle up children, strap them in the stroller.....unstrap and unload them so I can bump the stroller down our building stairs to start the trek to our destination.....re-load and re-strap and squeeze in a bottle feeding in between or an unexpected potty stop at Starbucks.....keeping the children engaged in activities with their friends, but also ensuring my kids have some down time.....it's a fine line to balance and I thought I was very organized until Brody came along.....

.....now I know that I needed to sharpen my skills to refine the juggling act.....

....and like all things, practice and time will eventually help us see the light....momentum of becoming good at something helps to fuel the fire within as we gain more wisdom and experience.....I love the phase of moving from an uncomfortable place to one that is secure and safe.....I love to look back and remember how a challenge brought forth self doubt, self reflection, and prayer that ends with a renewing that exhibits our growth....

....and speaking of growth, my girl has blossomed in her ballet and in a few short weeks she will bid it farewell and tackle a new endeavor of tap dancing......oh, the shiny black shoes that click and clack will bring back some fond memories.....






....and as Elsie practices her ballet, my jumper, leaper and swinger is perfecting cartwheels and somersaults on the other side of the neighborhood.....watching Callie progress and enjoy her natural talent at age 2.5 has been so joyful.....typically a Mommy and me class, the instructor asked all of us to wait outside post Christmas.....without me by her side, she has flourished.....


....all warmed up and ready to fly....


....a quick spot to make sure her leap doesn't turn into a flip.....


.....and she sticks it....


....you should have seen her throw both of her hands above her head after she realized she landed her jump.....she's my miniature Mary Lou Retton....and I missed the picture because I was cheering like the crazy fan on the sidelines.....

....and just like Elsie, Callie also wants to make some changes.....so she is hanging up her leotard and trading them for pink tights and ballet slippers.....and she will gladly take her sister's lace ups......they accomplish what they want and then move on to the next challenge....they do it with zeal, enthusiasm and they are fearless.....both of them....

....oh, the lessons we learn from our little ones....



....I suppose now that I am perfecting my routine in NYC with three small babes, it's time to change it up and look for the next challenge....so again, I can't get too far in this post without rehashing this upcoming change for our family....another phase of life that will be uncomfortable and make me squirm.....but it will force growth and transformation.....with an outcome that I am experiencing now as I look back on Brody's last 9 months with us.... and it's a good, good place to be....

....so I will try to tackle this next one as freely and as fearlessly as my children look at new endeavors because I am learning from them right now more than they can imagine.....

    ....Callie's hat from Loveyheads.... 


....and I am a very good student with three terrific teachers....

6 comments :

Michelle said...

What a great post! I love the things that you are learning from your kids. I think we all need to step back and maybe use their perspective every now and then. Although the move will be scary, I'm sure it will be worth it to have more space with the kids. You'll be amazed at how much more your kids will blossom with all of that s-p-a-c-e! (Not that they wouldn't in the city) Thanks for stopping by my blog. Glad to have found you as well! I look forward to hearing about your journey away from the city!

Rebecca Hawkes said...

I just want to make one simple comment; you know this already yourself but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else: the reason that you feel overwhelmed sometimes is that _your life is overwhelming_. You are juggling a lot! You definitely deserve a ring pop! I agree: I'd like to know what kind of cake those other moms are eating. LOL

Beautiful family! Best of luck w/ your upcoming transistions.

Leslie said...

I got pulled in by the photos of your beautiful kids! I feel like you may be expressing exactly what my own mom went through...she had three kids in three years! I look forward to reading more! Found you on VB!

Sara B said...

Loved your posts! I Love how Brody is looking at the baby! Life will change but for the good and you still will always have your NYC life too just as all of us will now have a suburban life since you are taking us all with you - in your heart and literally! With Cristen just 20 mins from you we will be splitting time between NYC and CT all year long. No way are we going to let these friendships become fond memories. We will have our yearly Plaza tea party and our annual trip to the CT beach!! Our NYC gingerbread house making, ice skating, tree lighting, Macy's Santa, Christmas spectacular will be intwined with your backyard sprinklers and swing set. I love going to Cristen's for the sheer delight the kids take from the backyard, lunch together at her giant family table, and ability to go in and out with ease. If you weren't overwhelmed by 3 kids under 4 you'd be doing something wrong.

AnneM said...

What an absolutely adorable set of photos you have. :) Made me realize that I haven't taken photos of my child lately. Thanks for sharing your life with the rest of us.

Becky Jane said...

I didn't find my 'piece of cake' until my 5th child...by then it didn't matter how many kids were in the house it was all great!