.....the one who made me a Momma.....

.....Thanksgiving Day.....

.....I have loved the holiday even before she was born.....besides Christmas, minus the commercial side of the it, Thanksgiving has always been a favorite.....and five years, 8 months ago, the Dr. told me our baby's due date would be Thanksgiving Day.......

......perfect.....

.....after a miscarriage, the heart break that followed and then the many months that passed before we were able to conceive again; there wasn't a more tender day out of the 365 days of the year that was better suited for the arrival of this child.....

.....and the day after Thanksgiving, one day passed her due date, the contractions began......and when she took her first breath and they passed her to me, also revealing that this miracle child was a baby girl, I changed.....

.....and I will never be the same.....

.....and now when the anticipation of Thanksgiving arrives, I am immediately brought back to the time when I was awaiting the arrival of my first baby.......I can still remember everything so vividly when I close my eyes.....the electricity in the city, the colors that changed late in Central Park that year, the cold snap that arrived the night she made her grand entrance into the world.....

......combine that with the love of cooking in my kitchen with traditional and new recipes surrounded by my family and good friends and I become one sappy soul the third week of November......

.....yesterday was good.....yesterday was comfy.....yesterday was the five of us settling in on day five in our new house......and we celebrated by pushing all the boxes and chores aside and we whipped up a traditional feast that Stefan and I loved......the kids?.....well, they liked the store bought rolls......so maybe next year......

.....although, the girls loved being helpful in the kitchen.....as the two of them pulled dried wheat bread apart, I heard them have an exchange that went something like this....."Elsa, I LOVE you"......laughter......."Cal, I love you too"......"this bread tastes yucky"......"should we ask Momma for a better snack?".......silence.....laughter.......both of them in front of me two minutes later asking for some Halloween candy.......

......be still, my heart.....

.....not that the exchanges always go like that.....lately, it's been a lot of arguing, so I was pleased they decided to love each other on the day of thankfulness......

.....it was a slow day.....the girls were in and out of the kitchen......Brody made his pit stops to pull out the sippy cups and plastic plates from all the drawers beside where I was working and Stefan would swing in to help cook.......then he'd flip though the channels to find a good game on for a bit until he and the kids decided to make the mother of all tunnels with our lingering boxes......

.....and for as much hustle and bustle as we have had lately, I can tell you that it was nice to spend some time alone in my kitchen.......it was heart warming to hear the kids play one room over, to be able to concentrate as I tried to pull the traditional meal together (I have not cooked Thanksgiving in 8 years since we usually spend our day at the parade).......and to have space, sunlight and a full, noisy, good smelling, happy home was so gratifying.....

.....actually, it was perfect.....

.....and what is even better is that tomorrow, we get to celebrate Elsa......putting her to bed tonight reminded me so much of being a child and the extreme excitement that is ignited by having a birthday.....her crown is ready to be adorned for the day......and she has already asked all of us to please call her "birthday girl" all day long......

....anything for you, babe.......

.....sweet dreams.....

.....the last five years of my life have been so fulfilled.....heavy with joy and laughter, yet also plagued by the temptation to worry constantly.....you are my blessed child, Elsie.....you are a ray of sunshine and a compassionate soul who loves others deeply........a giver, a pleaser, a competitor, a winner, a leader and a follower......a listener, yet a conversationalist.......a thinker, a fact finder, and a girl with a quest for knowledge.....a lover and peace maker.....an independent and bright, sweet beautiful girl who loves time alone, just as much as you love being with your your best friends.....

.....see you in the morning, sunshine....can't wait to celebrate you turning five......

.....thank you for being the one who made me a Momma.....

....I love you.....

....our Thanksgiving baby.....

 .....I have loved the ripe old age of three......

.....our conversations have been interesting and meaningful this year, yet she still has remnants of being our baby.....dimples in her elbows, her special blanket for bedtime and the tantrums to express her anger or frustration that surface occasionally and remind me that she is still our little one.....

.....and I know as she embarks into the next year of her life, the reminders that she is my baby will vanish; as she will not only physically change, but will also begin new challenges and adventures.....she will be labeled preschooler, not toddler in schools, text books and by age range brackets......

.....but she will always be our baby.....

....12 days old....

.....the one who made me a Momma on that chilly November night four years ago......and my life, my heart, my everything changed the second they put her in my arms....

    .....4 months old.....

.....and I clearly remember the thoughts and conversations that Stefan and I had as we stared at our first newborn......what will she look like?....what will she be like?.....will she be athletic, studious, quiet, funny, inquisitive, soft spoken, meticulous?......we were so curious to know her and the unveiling of who she is has been better than I could have ever imagined......

                          .....16 months old.....

....her loving spirit and sweet disposition has been uplifting in our home.....since she was a small toddler, we knew she had a heart for others and she strives to serve, help, please and love......

     .....15 months.....

     ....2 years old.....

      ......two and a half year old......

    .....2 years old.....

.....she also has a passion for her friendships and she loves a good time.....

     ......two and a half years old......

     ....three and a half years old......

     ......two and a half years old.....

     .....three.....

     .....three and a half....

     ....three and a half.....

                              .....three and a half....

     .....three and a half.....

.....she's as girly as it gets, loves anything pink and can ham it up for the camera.....

     .....Elsie, 2.5 and Callie 9 months.....

                              .....two and a half....

.....and she can cook a mean pancake every Saturday morning with her Daddy......it's been their tradition since as long as I can remember......

                              .....two and a half.....

.....she loves to be with our family and has adjusted as we have grown.....

    ....2008....

     ....2010....

                              ....2011.....

.....we couldn't have been any luckier to have you, Elsie.....you are our blessing, our gift, and our joy.....and so today, on your first Thanksgiving birthday of many to come, we have so many things to be thankful for.....

....you, my sweet girl are one of them.....

                              ....11/18/11 4th birthday party.....

.....happy 4th birthday.....

.....we love you dearly.....