.....two at Holmes school......

.....the days are long, but the years are flying by.....

.....we certainly felt like that during Elsie's first year of Kindergarten.....she grew so much in that year.....socially, academically, emotionally and certainly physically.....she even looks so much older in the picture of her last day of school.....I remember that day so clearly because it was only 9 weeks ago......and here we are celebrating a week where all of our friends are back to school......the new backpacks, the supplies, the shiny shoes and the butterflies of excitement in the belly......

......Elsa (she has preferred Elsa over Elsie since Frozen was released) has been gung ho and ready for first grade all summer and Callie has been hot and cold about starting elementary school.....

......the first day for Kindergartners is actually an orientation......they tour the school with their new teacher, the parents get to see the classroom and mingle with one another and then we go home and continue on with the routine of summer......we play outside, have some snacks, and play with the neighbors.......life is good......

......so our first morning was really a run through, but for Elsie, it was the real deal.....

.....and Brody asked several times when it will be his turn.....he doesn't like to miss any of the fun......

......we raced to school to meet Elsa when she got off the bus......

.....and she posed for a snapshot, but was determined to go about her own way.......she had friends waiting for her that lead to conversations about bus rides and lunch boxes......

......and with sweaty palms, but a brave face; it was Callie's turn to head into her new classroom and see where she would start her love for learning.....

.....and then her anxiety began about the bus ride......the same bus that she waved to every single day last year......the bus that she was dying to get on with her sister and watched it drive away down our street for 9 months......all of a sudden when it was her turn, she decided, "I am NOT gettin' on that bus tomorrow" the eve before her first full day......

.......we hugged, we talked, we reasoned, we listened.....

.....she sobbed......

.....she woke up this morning and I gave her one of my necklaces.....it is an old necklace, but it is green; my favorite color and it has a big stone in the center......I asked her to hold it and close her eyes anytime she felt scared or lonely and to think about how much she is loved.....

......I fastened it.....she touched it.....she smiled and she slowly started to come around as the morning progressed.....

......she sprinted toward the bus the instant she heard it coming up the street and I had to ask both girls to come back off to give me big hugs and kisses.......

.....she rocked that bus ride......and sister kept such good care of her......I was so proud of Callie for her bravery and Elsie for her compassion and adoration for her sister......the other mamas at school were crying because they missed their babes; running off and beginning a new world of independence......I was holding back the tears because the girls made me so proud.....their sisterhood is such a gift to me and one of my greatest joys has been watching it unfold......I am so happy to see them enjoy this experience together.....of course I miss them and have the fleeting feeling that time with little kids in the house is running low.....but more than the sorrow of that chapter being closed, I am so joyful watching them enjoy this time in their young, little lives......

.....they will have as many memories this school year as they did this past summer.....there are too many to list, but we played and we played hard......

.....we had friends visit from near and far, lots of days of glorious sunshine, swim lessons, beach days,  fruit picking, pool days, BBQs, holiday parades, and enough ice cream to start our own parlor......

.....we came 8 short of hitting our summer bucket list to full capacity......Bowling and apple picking will have to be picked up during a chilly fall day in our near future......

......and we will suck the life out of those days, too.......so long summer......from here on out, I will await you with two arms open, waiting to have my oldest little ones back at home when they are all mine again......

......but for this season, we are celebrating structure, excited about learning, anticipating newness and expanding our comfort zones......

.....and it feels so, so good......

......so proud of you Elsa and Callie......

Xx

….uninspired and make up Monday…..

…..this blog has brought me so much joy over the last four years……in fact, this blog will turn four in two days and I can distinctly remember clicking submit for the first post……I remember what I wrote, where I was sitting in our NYC apartment when I typed the essay and the feeling of exhilaration staring at the blank slate of virtual paper…..for me, the birth of the blog was a place to capture the beauty in the every day and provide snapshots for the future me to reflect and remember…..

…..I love to write….and I love to take pictures…..both are therapeutic for me and both help me gain new perspectives…..they are both like new lenses where I can see my life with a fresh set of eyes…..this blog has taught me things about motherhood that I have wanted to change about myself and it has also validated my role in this season of life when I have needed it most…..

….since Mae has arrived, I have blogged a mere five times……granted, I took 10 weeks off and unplugged from everything……including my responsibilities of the household, as we learned one February day that we (or I should say me); forgot to renew our homeowners insurance that had expired the week Mae was born……oops……but I have had a hard time squeezing in anything for me…..not a lot of work outs, not much time for catching up with friends, and this blog has certainly suffered; as I have been too tired to write or take pictures for that matter…..

….I love the buzz of our household and thoroughly enjoy being tied up with my family…..Stefan and I had many long conversations about the demand that four children would have on our lives…….I expected life to have me spinning in many directions managing a household of six; however one of my goals has always been to preserve my personal identity so I can thrive as my own, too……..and not just in the role as mama…..aiming for this goal, as many women do, makes me a better wife, better friend, better caregiver, better me, better everything…..

…..I am meeting with a life coach tomorrow…...not because I feel that there is anything wrong, but because I know with some intervention and godly advice, I can be better balanced……there can be time to give to my family, but also time for me to thrive and grow too…..

……recently, I have seriously contemplated shutting this blog down…..I have always maintained that if I can't give something my all, I just won't half ass it…..excuse my french……and when I think of the many important events I still have to enter into this space (Mae's milestones, Elsie's birthday, Christmas, etc) it has been more of a mental block and has deterred me from getting started……presently, when I think about this blog, there isn't any joy and it feels more like a chore…..so I avoid it, procrastinate and feel my blood pressure rise when I see there are 199 pictures I have flagged to eventually be posted…...but as I have been preparing for my appointment tomorrow, I scratched that idea of ending this blog…..I love this place……always have, always will……I just need to alter my mind set and arrive ready to give and take a small piece of life so we can both gain from one another…..

….so instead of spending hours recapping the past four months of photos and memories I want to share, and more importantly, moments I want my family to have from the early days of Mae's arrival; I am going to use Monday as a make up day from days past……and slowly, I think reflecting on those days will enable me to be inspired again…...to find joy in this blog and to look forward to my quiet time with this computer screen……

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…..my oldest baby turned 6 two and a half weeks after Mae was born…..luckily, the even birthdays fall on a "no party" year, so I did not have the pressure of throwing a bash at my house or planning one anywhere else for that matter……

……I met Elsie in her school cafeteria so we could have lunch together……I was able to meet her new friends, watch her interact with other students and then she had her glory in front of her class…….she beamed as they sang to her, positioned her birthday crown just right on top of her head, read a book to the class and then presented her "All about Me" poster, leaving no detailed uncovered…...

…..her chosen date with mama and Daddy was Disney on Ice which was running in Brooklyn…...so Stefan and I packed the car with our oldest and our youngest and made an appearance back in NYC……sleep deprived and baby on the boob, yes; but we made Elsie feel like a celebrity…...

…..Mimi held the fort down with the other two and was still surviving well enough upon our return to help us arrange the crew for our Christmas card picture when we got home…..

…..we didn't use any pictures we took that day for our card, but we did capture some sweet moments trying…...

…..and a birthday isn't complete without pampering, so we indulged and made it a girls trip…….

…..and during the month of November, I can't get within 100 feet of a Starbucks and resist the pumpkin spice latte…...I think I told Elsie that every birthday girl also needed a cup of hot chocolate……it was an easy sell…...

……parties are festive and loud around here…...and we consume an insane amount of cake…...

…..and when it is all said and done, I am thrilled the celebration was fabulous; but am so relieved I have another year to prepare for the next one…..

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…..my favorite shots from our present here and now……

…..Brody is completely into his sister lately and she fancies him too…...

….looking for his pot of gold…..

…..skating sisters on the first warmish day of spring this past weekend…...

…..I am almost inspired enough to strap some skates on too…….

…..almost…..