….a ghost, a witch, a skeleton and the bump…...

……my sweet baby girl turns three months in three days; so it is only appropriate that I publish her birth story so that it is archived in this blog for her to reflect on some day in her future……

…..but before I can post about the day our family changed on November 7, 2013; I have to publish the week before she was born……my Halloween post was half complete when I went into labor, so with a few major changes to wording we will have Halloween in February……

…..my Mom arrived the day before Halloween and she quickly picked up and helped in the areas that I was too tired to tend to in my very pregnant state of mind……like carving our jack o lantern on the eve of Halloween……

….I had meant to get to it sooner, but just never could muster the energy…….so she and Stefan pulled through and I supervised…...

…..I was actually very excited to take the kids trick or treating because I had grand plans that I would walk the baby out…..my children thought they might spook the baby out considering we had a ghost, a witch and a skeleton under one roof…...

…..we added some more friends to the mix and we hit the neighborhood for our first traditional suburban Halloween…….

….Mom stayed back to tend to our front door and I walked and walked and walked and walked…..since my Mom was finally here, there weren't anymore worries about the children…..where would they go if labor began in the middle of the night?……who would take them to school, pack their snacks and help Brody if he had a tough day at nursery school?….there wasn't reason to fret anymore, so surely this mental state of relief would help initiate labor so we could meet our sweet bundle……

…..Halloween day had me hopeful…...

….and three days later when we ditched our rotting jack o lantern, I was not so hopeful……

…..the rest is history…..

…..now we know that Mae came 7 days post Halloween and added more color and more joy to the gorgeous fall we had this year…...

…..and now I can tell the story of Mae……

….stay tuned….

....the 11th Valentine.......

....we have stayed home for the last 11 Valentines we have spent together......our first Valentine's date was the night I learned Stefan could cook....he spent hours making a red sauce that was incredibly delicious and better than anything I had ever tasted at a restaurant.....since that evening, I vowed that for every February 14 we spent together; all I wanted was his cooking.....no restaurants with price fixes, no crowded waits; just the two of us at home making something out of our norm.....

....so after the babes were tucked and snoozing, he got to work.....

....last night was his first veal milanese.....he added an arugula, tomato and parmesan salad with lemon dressing.....

.....ah-mazing......

....I didn't have the same zeal for the kids' meal.....at 6pm, an hour past their usual dinnertime, I announced that they were having red and pink pancakes for dinner.....Momma wasn't prepared for as busy of a day as it ended up to be.....but no one was complaining about breakfast for dinner.....

....these are the easiest pancakes to make from scratch and the recipe can be found here......

....I hope your day was filled with love, great meals, smiling babies, cuddly pets, chocolate, an interesting book, good friends, handmade Valentines or whatever else makes you happy.....

....the Melting Pot giveaway goes to commenter #9, Sara H.....Ah, Melting Pot! Tim and I had the brilliant idea to go out to dinner there when Graham was just about 12 months old.... Just the age when they want to grab everything, of course! So we have a boiling pot and sharp sticks and a grabby baby and let's just say it was one of the least relaxing meals I have ever had! I think we would have a lot more fun there now that Graham is 3 :).....

....Congratulations, Sara! Enjoy your night of fondue!.....

....Happy three day weekend to all......

....empty tank.....

....honestly, the last thing I have felt like doing lately is meeting up with this blog....I have been trying to slow down the pace for the family, soak in the children during this Christmas season, unpack a few boxes here and there, browse pinterest after the kids are in bed for design and furniture inspiration and actually prepare for Christmas......

....I haven't had much in the tank lately for photography or writing.....however, there have been many times during the course of this blog's life, that I have hit this road block......and I find the best way to get over an uninspired phase is to show up......regardless of how I feel, I show up anyway and write.....and although it may not be my best writing, I do it nonetheless because sooner or later, the fog lifts and I am raw with emotion and imploding to tell about it......

....here I am.....I've showed up this evening and I must admit, that my new work place is a very, very  good place to reflect.......

....I am feeling homey, cozy and blessed.....

.....although amidst all the security and comfort, I have still been in a frenzy the past few weeks.....a minor panic is more honest.....I am feeling pressured, unsettled, and overwhelmed......and as often as I tell myself that I am moving the house projects to the back burner until after Christmas, I can't help it.....I am easily side tracked and have been told since the early days of my young, adult professional life that I always bite off more than I can chew........leaving me with many unfinished projects.....

.....I am the over ambitious starter......the one who kick starts ideas and executes, but also tends to fizzle quickly.....

.....Stefan has learned how to manage my over zealous enthusiasm for being a jump starter......he is also handy and loves to paint......so when I began to project manage the weekend on Friday night, requesting a quick detour to Home Depot before we picked out our tree; he deemed this project as a go......he is the closer of all projects we do together and before he even answered my Home Depot request, he had already committed to the project too.....

.....I bolted on this project when my mind racked up another 5 things for my to do list, just as my cell phone rang and my arm got tired; abandoning yet another project so I could leave to begin several others.....

....however, we blazed through several shades of blue on Saturday until we found the one that we love.....

.....and that project is still in progress, but it's looking rich, soothing, dark and inviting.....

....besides, it is Stefan's project now and he will close us out strong.....

....he always does.....

.....we did begin to decorate for Christmas this weekend, which felt really good......it does slightly irriate me that Thanskgiving hardly gets its own glory.....I understand the hype of wanting to move on to Christmas......but when so many families are decorating and adorning their trees in November, it makes me feel like buying a tree on December 8 is terribly late.....

....not late....

.....actually, perfect for what we have had on our plate....Christmas has filled in the empty holes on shelves and made it our home very quickly.....

....sixteen days of enjoying our jingle bells and twinkling lights will be thoroughly inhaled every waking moment.....I love a decorated and cozy Christmassy house.....

.....and I love sweet sentiments of Christmas, like Elsie's PreK class popping in to the senior center in Darien to sing 7 Christmas carols......

....and after several nights of hushing us as she sang to practice her carols, beginning from the top if there was even the slightest interruption- such as a cough or a whisper- she just wasn't feeling it in front of the crowd.....

....no hand gestures, no smiling, no heart felt, singing her lungs out for the seniors......nothing.....and just as I was getting concerned about whether or not she was still breathing up there on that stage, she gave me a sign that told me what was going on.....

....she yawned, rubbed her eyes, and totally checked out for the last two songs.....

....we are all a little weary in this house.....

....but nothing that juice and cookies couldn't fix....

 .....we did manage to squeeze in some down time on Sunday....in fact, we lounged most of the day and it was grand and very overdue.....however, we did close out a few minor projects, like organizing our gift and wrapping paper stations and our cleaning supply closets; but we also took extended breaks.....the girls were able to explore, play, be creative and do their sisterly thing......

....and the next two weeks will have its balance of merry and jolly and also quiet and reflective......

.....and regardless of inspiration, time or desire; I will show up to tell you about it.....

.....the one who made me a Momma.....

.....Thanksgiving Day.....

.....I have loved the holiday even before she was born.....besides Christmas, minus the commercial side of the it, Thanksgiving has always been a favorite.....and five years, 8 months ago, the Dr. told me our baby's due date would be Thanksgiving Day.......

......perfect.....

.....after a miscarriage, the heart break that followed and then the many months that passed before we were able to conceive again; there wasn't a more tender day out of the 365 days of the year that was better suited for the arrival of this child.....

.....and the day after Thanksgiving, one day passed her due date, the contractions began......and when she took her first breath and they passed her to me, also revealing that this miracle child was a baby girl, I changed.....

.....and I will never be the same.....

.....and now when the anticipation of Thanksgiving arrives, I am immediately brought back to the time when I was awaiting the arrival of my first baby.......I can still remember everything so vividly when I close my eyes.....the electricity in the city, the colors that changed late in Central Park that year, the cold snap that arrived the night she made her grand entrance into the world.....

......combine that with the love of cooking in my kitchen with traditional and new recipes surrounded by my family and good friends and I become one sappy soul the third week of November......

.....yesterday was good.....yesterday was comfy.....yesterday was the five of us settling in on day five in our new house......and we celebrated by pushing all the boxes and chores aside and we whipped up a traditional feast that Stefan and I loved......the kids?.....well, they liked the store bought rolls......so maybe next year......

.....although, the girls loved being helpful in the kitchen.....as the two of them pulled dried wheat bread apart, I heard them have an exchange that went something like this....."Elsa, I LOVE you"......laughter......."Cal, I love you too"......"this bread tastes yucky"......"should we ask Momma for a better snack?".......silence.....laughter.......both of them in front of me two minutes later asking for some Halloween candy.......

......be still, my heart.....

.....not that the exchanges always go like that.....lately, it's been a lot of arguing, so I was pleased they decided to love each other on the day of thankfulness......

.....it was a slow day.....the girls were in and out of the kitchen......Brody made his pit stops to pull out the sippy cups and plastic plates from all the drawers beside where I was working and Stefan would swing in to help cook.......then he'd flip though the channels to find a good game on for a bit until he and the kids decided to make the mother of all tunnels with our lingering boxes......

.....and for as much hustle and bustle as we have had lately, I can tell you that it was nice to spend some time alone in my kitchen.......it was heart warming to hear the kids play one room over, to be able to concentrate as I tried to pull the traditional meal together (I have not cooked Thanksgiving in 8 years since we usually spend our day at the parade).......and to have space, sunlight and a full, noisy, good smelling, happy home was so gratifying.....

.....actually, it was perfect.....

.....and what is even better is that tomorrow, we get to celebrate Elsa......putting her to bed tonight reminded me so much of being a child and the extreme excitement that is ignited by having a birthday.....her crown is ready to be adorned for the day......and she has already asked all of us to please call her "birthday girl" all day long......

....anything for you, babe.......

.....sweet dreams.....

.....the last five years of my life have been so fulfilled.....heavy with joy and laughter, yet also plagued by the temptation to worry constantly.....you are my blessed child, Elsie.....you are a ray of sunshine and a compassionate soul who loves others deeply........a giver, a pleaser, a competitor, a winner, a leader and a follower......a listener, yet a conversationalist.......a thinker, a fact finder, and a girl with a quest for knowledge.....a lover and peace maker.....an independent and bright, sweet beautiful girl who loves time alone, just as much as you love being with your your best friends.....

.....see you in the morning, sunshine....can't wait to celebrate you turning five......

.....thank you for being the one who made me a Momma.....

....I love you.....