......lucky seven, Elsa Grace.....

.....I didn't intend for it to happen, but as I was gathering photos for this blog post, I came across a "recovered file" on my MAC......as I sorted through it, I found all sorts of old videos and pictures off an iphone that I used to have when both girls were one and two......I got lost in the pictures and videos; simultaneously longing for those days when the girls were so little and also appreciating the conversation and enjoyment I have with them now......and then the videos appeared when sweet Brody joined us......the snapshots and video clips quickly reminded me how living in such small NYC quarters in that phase of life was a blessing and a stress at the same time.....so now I am back to the present and enjoying it five years later.....

....the timing of finding this "recovered file" was perfect, as it brought me back to the days when motherhood was still so new.....and here we are, seven years into it and both Stefan and I are still learning, still in awe at this incredible responsibility of parenthood and are even more joy filled then we were when the days were much simpler and slower paced......

......this past weekend and all day yesterday, we celebrated our fist born turning seven.....

.....she wanted pink, she wanted a pony and she wanted a petting zoo.....so we turned our backyard into a little haven for 18 of her best girl friends and we had a little show down that surely did not disappoint......

....I heard the rustling around upstairs before 6am when I was having my coffee with Mae.....and the duo emerged all geared up and ready to go.....the countdown for Elsa's fall fest was on......the joy and excitement about parties, cake, friends, goody bags, and holidays is contagious and I love the buzz that it creates it our house.......I could use a little less craziness with the running and jumping and yelling, but we are learning that's all part of it too.....so we take the it all in stride......

....the day was on the frigid side, but it was gorgeous......we had abundant sunshine and the children were dressed to play.......they are immune to temperatures below 40 degrees.......it made the animals a little livelier and the hot chocolate tasted that much sweeter.....

......friends were reunited, farm animals were dotted on, old school games were brought outside, we had dear friends stay and help us man the party and the girls were saying good bye in no time at all......

....and it dawned on me as we were setting up for the party that this very well could be the last "birthday party" we throw for Elsie......granted, we have not thrown 7 of them since we do the parties on the odd years......so technically this is our fourth one we have thrown......but will she want a party at age nine?.....when she is on the verge of tweendom?......probably not.....I am guessing she will opt for a sleep over with close friends or another event that isn't all about inviting your entire class.....so there was a part of me that lost track of details that no one would have noticed otherwise......and letting those go; like handing out bandanas or fussing over the craft that flopped, went to the wayside just so I could be still, step back and watch it all fully present.....

....I could be wrong......this very well may not be the last party she has in our backyard, but I have a strong suspicion that it was.....and so I irritated several little girls to stop what they were doing around half time just so I could capture the group at our Farm Fest.....the first grade wonder......the sweetness that all of these girls had toward one another......

.....it was such a great group of girls......all playing with one another, all including each other in events and games and all encouraging each other.....

.......my heart was happy and so, so full......

(and sweet Mae was napping by this time)

......and so as we came off the high of this weekend and celebrating you in a grand way, Elsa Grace; the timing of finding these old pictures was remarkable.....

.....you have always had a special sparkle in your eyes.....I so clearly remember this day at the park with you, as it was late summer and I was planning your first birthday with other friends in our building.....your eyes have gleamed with sheer joy since the day you were born and even as a bright seven year old, you still find excitement and wonder in all things.......

....you have aways loved being outside, exploring God's creation......and of course, you have always had such a dear affection for your Daddy......

.....you can be serious, goofy, inquisitive and silly all in one breath......

(and your resemblance to baby Mae is astounding- so I had to add a picture of the two of you at the same age!)

.....Elsa, 12 months.....

.....Mae, 12 months......

......you have set such an incredible example to your siblings on how to show love to others, how to be compassionate, how to laugh at mistakes, and how to find the wonder in all things......

......I know that God created you to be someone He has already intended you to be......He has a future paved out for you and has given you gifts and talents that are specific to you......

.....there are people in your life you will impact......there are people in your little 7 years you have already made better by just being you......you are loyal, loving and considerate......

.....and you love to have fun.....

.....we have loved every phase of parenting you, Elsa....and I only hope that we can help you grow into the person that God made you to be.....I hope we can encourage you, comfort you, love you, discipline you, teach you and protect you as best as we can......it is those things that I pray for when I seek wisdom on how to ensure we give you all that you need.....our love for you is so bountiful, so deep and will never waver.....

....and our heart bursts just as much for your siblings; as you are all so incredibly special and unique in your own ways.....

.....happy lucky seven, Elsie.....

(and can't wait to hear what the tooth fairy leaves you, too)

.....you will forever be the one who made me a mama.....

.....thank you for being you.....

.....I love you to the moon and back.....

Xx Mama

…..savoring…..

…..hello beloved blog…..

…..we have not even been home from a week at Disney World for 48 hours…..I am still swimming in laundry made by 6 people and tripping over suitcases…….usually, this type of unorderly chaos would stress me out, but I am full of gratitude and peace tonight……

…..there are a lot of sad stories out there right now…….friends who have babies in jeopardy, missing children, and babes who have had horrible accidents……I have held my children close to me the past two days……we have skipped chores to watch videos of Brody when he was a baby, Stefan and I have cooked good meals when we don't have time this week to really be in the kitchen, I have neglected paying bills to sit with Elsie on the piano and it has been lovely to be free of the anxiety of having an orderly home….I am working on the balance of it all and it isn't a straight line progression, but I am making progress…...

……Mae and I went to NYC yesterday for a few hours to visit with Judith, one of the most godly women I know…….she is here visiting from Australia and last time she was here, I was days away from delivering Mae……our visit filled my love cup, as Judith is one of the women in my life I look up to the most……her face radiates joy and grace and I love her dearly…..

…..today I spent three hours with Callie on her field trip…….it meant so much to her to have me there……I knew this by the way she looked at me, the way she held my hand and the way her eyes welled up with relief when I was the last one to board the bus……"I was so scared you were going to miss the bus, mama. I am so glad you made it……"

…..I wiped one little tear that fell through her smile….. today I was exactly where I needed to be…….not folding laundry, not paying bills, not unloading suitcases…...

…..in times when I am feeling overwhelmed, the best thing for me is to leave the markers of stress and spend time with the ones I love……it cures me every time…..

…..Callie and Stefan are already in dreamland in our bed and I don't want to miss out…..

……grateful. aware. savoring…...

....no vacancy.....

.....we just had a family of five leave yesterday and tomorrow, we have a family of four arrive for a long weekend.......our house has bustled.....doors have opened and shut constantly, the kitchen has been open more than it has been closed, and laughter has waifed up from our basement every morning, as the six of them have made their way to the playroom while the mommas sleep til 7am......

.....the tv has collected dust, the swing set in the back yard may need to be oiled and we have probably gone through hundreds of paper plates over the course of the last week (yes, we are recycling!)......

.....it has been busy, hectic, funny, loud, sweet and chaotic, to say the least.....and we are ready to start it all again tomorrow......

......more on our adventures with visitors next week......

......the month of July had a few days that were slow and lazy......here are a few of my favorite moments  that captured the epitome of our summer......

.......Horse Camp.......

.....hardly a camp, but somehow the friend that referred this program to me referred to it as so and the name stuck.....any random day from 9-12pm, Miss Jocelyn takes 2- 5 year olds in her backyard for water play, arts and crafts and an opportunity to brush and ride the ponies.......hardly a horse camp, but the kids love to call it that and they love going to see Miss Jocelyn's horses......

.......and a bonus for me that all three of my kids fit in the 2-5 age bracket......going to the grocery store alone and hitting a spin class during this time frame does amazing things for my sanity......

.....Daddy daughter dates........

.....here is Elsie's face after I hung up with Stefan who told me he was coming home at 4:30pm to take her fishing on a random Monday night......

.....we giggled over the task of making ham and pickle sandwiches for their picnic dinner and they were off for a few hours.....

.....they did not catch a fish, but I know my girl came home with her love tank full.....

.....and I got to run the two younger ones around the neighborhood before making our own special dinner to share over a much smaller table.....

.....it is interesting to see how siblings interact with one another when the dynamic shifts......watching Callie embrace being the only big sister and seeing Brody adore her in this role gave me some good, wide grins.....

.....Mini road trips.....

......90 miles south and two states down, we popped in for a visit with old friends......our NYC neighbors are leaving the city faster than I can make all the going away parties.....

....yes, we all miss Manhattan, but suburban life for many of us has its perks......

.....we loved the 8 hours with our buds and summer just would not have been complete without an opportunity to spend some quality time with them......

....Lazy backyard days.....

.....actually, we have had a good amount of them......yes, we have had a ton of friends and family in to see us this summer, but we have also had lingering mornings, late lunches, bedtimes that would make me cringe in the fall and our fair share of fireflies caught in our fly nets.....we have resisted camp schedules, over committing and being on a time table and that has made the summer sweet......

.....we also eat watermelon everyday.....

.....happy last month of summer.....